Father France Knows Best
by littleangel123
Summary: After a World Meeting, Canada decided to get some love advice from his Papa France to find out if his brother likes him. Though...Things don't come as planned for the poor Canadian when it comes to his Papa's perverted mind. AmeCan, slight FrUk. Rated T for suggestive humor and Canada crossdressing.


A/N: Plz don't kill me. I am a newbie to this. I watched the whole Axis Powers, including the movie, and done the whole english dubs of World Series, yet my friend smilingicecream keeps telling me what's what about. I just saw a fan-comic about France being a father-like figure to Canada. It's not all the time that he's a flirt. Anyways, hope you like it and I hope they are kept in character.

Father France Knows Best!

Canada, aka Matthew Williams was sitting on the chair waiting for his turn in the World Conference meeting. He couldn't keep his eyes off of his older twin brother America/Alfred F. Jones.

"And so, we need to get together to stop this guy who abducts children and stuff by bringing your bestest army to find him. Any questions?" he yelled. Matthew raised his hand. Alfred didn't notice, "Okay, you're next Iggy!" Matthew sighed. He didn't get a chance and it was HIS TURN. Not Arthur's. He glanced to his father-like figure, France who gave a sad look at Matthew and then shaking his head at his brother.

"Non, non, non! You 'ave got zit wrong!" he said.

"What do you mean? I am never wrong! I'm the hero and the hero is never wrong!" Alfred frowned.

"Zit iz not that big-browed Brit's turn! Zit is Canada's turn!"" France protested. Everyone looked around.

"I don't see Canada-san, just an empty seat." Japan said.

"No, he's right there, he-" Arthur shutted France up, by putting a hand in his mouth.

"Just shut, Frog Face. We don't see Canada. You just had too much fun last night." he growled. Francis huffed and gave a small glance at Matthew, before he looked through his papers again. Canada sighed and was nearly on verge of tears. After the meeting, Matthew trudged out, muttering curses to the other countries all the way to his best friend Ivan's house. He clutched his bear tightly before he knocked on the door. The door slowly opened, revealing the tall country.

"Hello Canada, how are you today?" he greeted in his always suspicious friendly tone.

"Good..." Russia lifted Matthew's chin.

"What's the matter, my friend? You don't seem good. Is it the fact that you weren't noticed by everyone except me and France?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah, and something else..." Matthew groaned.

"Let's discuss this inside with vodka." with that, the taller nation dragged the maple syrup loving nation in his house. Ivan pushed Matthew down to a chair and left the room to come back with his favourite vodka brand. Once he sat down and took his shot, Matthew finally spoke up.

"It's about Alfred!" he blurted out.

"Did he do something wrong? I can curse him, you know." Ivan got out his faucet. Matthew quickly shook his head.

"It's not that! I just...You know..." he blushed, while looking down at the floor.

"What?"

"I really...Let's just say I...Like him..." the room stayed silent until Russia broke the silence.

"Well he is your brother. You should like him-"

"No, Ivan. Like, _like_. That way."

"Ohhhh...I understand-"

"Wait! Y-you agree with me, eh?"

"Well yeah. I have the same thing as well. My sister Belarus is in love with me..." Matthew gave an small "Oh". "So what do you want me to do about it? I'm not a miracle worker. That brother of yours is like a dense brick on the side of the road. No offense." Ivan sighed sadly.

"I don't know. I bet you have some advice."

"Well sorry, I don't..." Matthew put his finger up in protestion, before Russia interrupted again "and don't go thinking that my sisters has the perfect advice because they don't." Matt's hopes shattered again.

"Well who else can I go to? I don't wanna talk to the Vargas Brothers, nor Germany or England! Who can I go to?" he shouted, before burrying his his head in his hands.

"Now, now, Matts. There's always that weird pervert of a father you have. He IS the country of love of course and...Matvey? Where'd ya go, da?" Russia looked around to find out the Canadian left in less than a blink of an eye.

In France...

"PAPA YOU GOTTA HELP ME, EH!" Canada cried as burst into Francis' house (though his voice is just as loud as a mouse).

"Hon? What is your problem, Mattieu?" France said, lying on the couch in a suggestive position while drinking his wine.

"I-I n-need your love advice. No, no the in b-bed type, eh." Matthew stammered. At that moment, France's eyes sparkled, dropped his wine glass and then tackled the poor Canadian into a hug.

"YOU FOUND A GIRL? I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!" Francis cried.

"But Papa...It's not a girl-"

"I DON'T CARE! I'M INTERESTED INTO MEN ALSO! I'M ACTUALLY INTERESTED INTO THE TASTELESS BRIT!"

"Papa, random information...and not only that. It's my brother." France froze and pulled away.

"Uhh...What brother? You do have alot of brothers-"

"You know exactly what brother I'm talking about, Papa." Matthew snapped.

"The loud, obnoxious, 'amburger-loving-"

"YES IT'S ALFRED! Seriously! Do I have to draw a freaking picture, eh?" France sighed and strolled back to his sofa.

"Ahh~...You took zee loudmouth? I could see 'ow it's like in bed, Alfred on top, you on the bottom, moaning and screaming each other's na-"

"PAPA! That's embarressing!" Canada blushed.

"I was just kidding. I 'ave zee perfect idea for you! You may not like it, but you don't 'ave to if you don't want to capture-"

"FINE! I'll do whatever you want to do with me to get Alfred. Just don't make me do it in public, eh." Matthew pouted. France put on his rape-face. Remember kids, if you ever see a long-haired french male giving you 'that face', then it's the bestest idea to run and scream like the devil got you. That means you England (_Wai-WHAT?)_.

"Dress up time..."

Unknown Amount of Hours Later...

"Come on out!~" Francis called out. Matthew came out wearing girl's clothes! He was wearing white miniskirt with a red T-Shirt, and a necklace with a small maple leaf.

"Papa...I look stupid."

"Non! You look delicious! I can eat you right up!"

"That's gross!"

"I was kidding again." France sighed.

"He'll totally recongnize me! Look! I don't have the female butt size, and the chest size-" France left immediately and came back with a bra that makes you more bustier.

"Nooo..Nononononononon! You can't be doing this to me, Papa..." next think you know, Matthew looked more like a girl.

"From now on, you are called Matilda! Plus, your butt is feminish enough, almost like Spain's. Except he's always on top because of Romano..." France annouced. Matthew sighed, more embarressed than the most embarressed person in the planet.

"You have got to be kidding me." Matthew muttered.

"Nonsense! You look magnificent!~ Now you go out zere an' get some sugar!" with that, France pushed Matthew out the door. As soon as the frenchman slammed the door, away from Canada's safety, he was face-to-face with...

"Yo, beautiful! What's your name?" Alfred asked. Matthew's face was redder than Spain's tomato.

"I-I...My n-name is Matilda." Crap, he'll never make it out alive! Alfred eyed Matthew's chest.

"Is that real?" he asked, squeezing it lightly.

"How rude! Trying to judge a girl's body!" Canada snapped. America raised his hands in defence.

"Sorry, beautiful! Sheesh, you act like my cute twin brother who isn't technically my brother...Uhhhh...What's his name? It's uhhh-"

"GOD-DANGIT! IT'S CANADA! WHY CAN'T YOU GET MY NAME FREAKING RIGHT...I mean...Why can't you get your own brother's name right?" Canada yelled, then quickly cover his mouth.

"Huh? What was that? I only caught you saying something about why I can't get my brother's name right. Well it's because...As much as I want to, I don't get the time to spend with my little bro. Yeah, he may be quiet and shy, but he's my brother and I love him. I AM supposed to be the hero, right?" Alfred said. Matthew's face turned red quickly.

"Y-yeah...You're the hero!" he fake laughed.

"AHAHAHA! I knew you'd understand! By the way, name's Alfred." America laughed in his usual obnoxious way patting Matthew's back. Canada smiled at his brother. He loved his laugh, even though everyone finds it annoying.

"Hey Matilda? Can I call you Mattie? I know it's my bro's nickname, but it fits also." America asked. Canada's heart nearly leaped out of joy.

"O-okay..." he replied.

"Thanks, Mattie!" he hugged the crossdressing Canadian, lifting him off the ground.

"Aaaack...Alfred, I...Can't breathe..." Matthew gasped out. Alfred looked down at his 'friend-that-is-a-girl-who-is-secretly-his-brother' and gasped as he immediatly dropped him.

"Sorry! I can't control my strength sometimes..." Alfred squeaked. Matthew got up and dusted himself.

"It's okay. It's not like I lost a lung or something, eh..." Matthew rolled his eyes.

"AWESOME! That means you can go out with me! Can you?" Alfred asked. The Canadian thought for a long time before he said:

"Why not? I am free. When is it-"

"Right now!" America dragged Matthew all the way to Macdonalds. Once they ordered and got their food, they sat there eating while as they were talking (mostly America talking while eating at the same time).

"So, where do you live?" America asked.

"Canada."

"That's where my brother lives."

"Really? He seems like a nice guy." Canada felt bad for praising himself, but he wasn't himself right now, so what the heck!

"Yeah, he is a nice guy. I'm sure he can get all the ladies." W-w-wait...He's actually complimenting him?

"R-really? I thought you were the type to attract lots of people." Canada stammered.

"Ha! I can, but him being the quiet and gentle type, he would be the more perfect guy. If only he was more known to the world..." America said. Canada's cheeks were lightly dusted with pink.

"Yeah...What do you do when you see him?" Canada asked.

"Go over there and say a 'how are ya, bro?' and try to at least bond with him, but I am usually busy with my hero stuff so I don't see him often..." America sighed. Canada couldn't believe his ears when he said that. He actually cared?

"Maybe if you can actually see me, maybe you can..." Canada mumbled.

"Huh? What was that?"

"Nothing. I was just muttering about some random stuff.-"

"That's the same thing my brother does!" well he's screwed..."You and Mattie are pretty much in common. I like that. You guys would totally get along." okay...Maybe not screwed...Yet.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! You guys should totally date one day!"...D-date?

"Nononononono! I perfer people like yo-I mean umm..."

"People like who?" America asked. Matthew blushed.

"Uh...Never mind. It's not important anyway, eh..." Matthew looked away.

"Were you about to say you perferred people like...Me?" Matthew sunk down in his seat.

"Yes..." he admitted in a tiny voice. America sprung out of his seat and hugged the living daylights out of the boy.

"AHAHAHA! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME, MATTHEW WILLIAMS!" Alfred cried out.

"Eeeehhh?" Canada deadpanned. Once Alfred finished his bear hug, he lead him outside, behind the fast food resturant (so he won't scare the customers).

"I always knew it was you, bro! You dressed up as a girl, so you can find out my feelings, and perhaps let me steal your vital regions, serving _it_ to you _hard_..." Alfred grinned. Canada's face flushed a deep shade of burgandy.

"H-how did you know it was me?" Canada asked.

"Jeez! Don'tcha think I know my own little brother? AHAHAHAHA!" Alfred laughed.

"No..."

"Well, now you know! Besides, who would fall for the stuffed up push-up bras? I'm not France." America said. Canada opened his mouth, just to have a finger pressed to his soft lips.

"Say no more, Mattie. I know how you feel for me, but let's just speak with actions." as soon as he said that, he cupped the Canadian's cheeks and pulled him to a surprisingly gentle kiss. Canada's eyes were wide as England's tea cup saucers, then his eyes slowly closed into pure bliss. He wished this moment never ends.

Meanwhile...Behind a Dumpster...

"Uhhgh...Why are you forcing me to stalk our little lads, Frog?" England rolled his eyes.

"Because zat is my sonz out there spreading l'amour!" France exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah...Behind a fast food resturant, how lovely." England said sarcasticly, waving a hand off. France, wrapped an arm around the Brit and pulled him closer.

"Zey just remind me of zee good old days between you and moi!~" Francis chuckled, placing a kiss on the forehead. Arthur blushed.

"Bloody frog. Just keep watching..." Arthur mumbled, pulling himself away from the touchy Frenchman.

"'ave I ever told you 'ow much I loved you?" France asked.

"Keep dreaming, Frog Face." England stormed off, muttering about getting surrounded by a bunch of 'Bloody Wankers' in this world. Francis sighed and turned back to the couple.

"I am very proud of my sonz. I 'ave to give them a present to get zem 'ready' for l'amour!~" France said contently, running off to prepare a _gift_.

Finally. Took me over 4 months to get this finished. It's because I am sometimes lazy, and I have to get my work done so I had to keep changing my beginning A/N. Though I might make more Hetalia stories. Okay. I don't own anything. This is my first time making a Hetalia fanfic so go easy on me (The other one is made by my sister just so you know...She made a better story than I ever would). I'm used to Resident Evil and Super Smash Brothers, though I am hooked on Hetalia right now. Well, please review or constuctive flames. Bye!~


End file.
